oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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