i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
