you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
