Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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