Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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