tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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