remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh god it's open bar.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
