The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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