I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
