I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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