is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
