Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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