ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
