Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
