I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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