So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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