nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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