The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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