There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
