I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
