I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
