everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
