Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
