i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
