i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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