Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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