so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
