what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
