so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
