There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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