I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
