piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Randomize
