and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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