Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
