what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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