Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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