I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
