I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
