We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
