I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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