"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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