you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
