these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
