I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Pooping to opera.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
