Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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