I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
