Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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