I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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