Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I party with great urgency now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
