He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
